Phillies Positional Preview – Corner Infielders (Carlos Santana Edition)
Gabe Kapler, looking for a little show of leadership in the Phils clubhouse, asked newcomer Carlos Santana to talk with the squad about the potential he sees at the corner infield spots for the year. The following is a transcript of his remarks.
“I want to thank Gabe for asking me to do this today. I’ve played with some fine infielders in my day, and on paper, I see that level of ability here. We all just need to Make It Real.
For instance: if our speedy possible fifth outfielder ever plays shortstop as has been tested this spring, and we shift our third baseman to the right side of the infield so that said “shortstop” is now counted as a third-baseman, (and hence a corner infielder for the purposes of this speech I, Carlos Santana, am giving right now), and said “third-baseman” manages to put a devious spell on our opponent to where they embarrassingly trip and fall rounding the hot corner in a critical situation, he would have to be called Black Magic Roman. Make it happen, Roman Quinn.
Also, when our incumbent at the hot corner makes a difficult backhanded stab look easy, and takes extra bases away from that one DBacks guy named Yasmany, he has truly Robbed Tomás. Maikel Franco is so Smooth. Think you can deny it? Forget About It.
And let me talk more about defense. When we’re out there patrolling our spots, it’s important to remember to stay alert. With a Little Bit Of This, and a Little Bit Of That, “this” and “that” defined here as “quickness” and “agility”, we’ll get to enough balls to save some outs. That is the ultimate goal of defense, the Aim (sic) Of Glove, if you will.
*loud cheering from the Crashburn Alley Alumni section*
Now, despite the experience he got playing at the corner last year, when you look at third, don’t be surprised when (J)P’s Not There. He’s really the best shortstop and should never be moved off the spot.
In closing: Oye ToJo Va, sure, but let’s not be surprised if he ends up playing in Korea, Korea, if ya know what I mean…
Damn, that was Way Evil of me. I should adjust my behavior. I hope it’s not Too Late To Say ‘I’m Sorry’, Tommy.”
And just then, Scott Kingery absolutely slayed a Hammond Organ Solo. Just wailed. I mean damn. Is there nothing he can’t do this spring?
Now, does anyone have a dumb Santana pun or lyric reference for Florimon, Walding or Knapp? Come on, friends. Don’t Turn Your Back On Me.