Crash Bag, Vol. 84: The Burrito Emporia of Queens

Good set of questions this week, so I’ll dive right in. First from the boys at Cespedes Family Barbecue. In my Roy Halladay tribute piece on Grantland earlier this week, I called Zoo With Roy the weirdest, most passionate blog…excuse me, “bolg”…in the history of sports, but Cespedes Family Barbecue is about 94 percent as weird as ZWR. Anyway, they sent a barrage of questions, starting with this one:

@CespedesBBQ: “if you were Domonic Brown, what team would you want to be traded to? you can’t choose the Expos”

So I’m going to interpret this question as involving the following parameters: putting my personality and tastes in Dom Brown’s body. So I’m the same person, but instead of being a married 26-year-old writer who looks like Jonathan Frakes’ slobbish nephew, I’d be a single 26-year-old baseball player who looks like an underwear model and whose salary is like mine, but with significant multiplication involved.

And because this is me being Dom Brown, and not Dom Brown being Dom Brown, this list would look different than you’d expect.

Continue reading…

We Are Looking for a Web Designer!

As you can probably tell every time you load the page, Crashburn Alley dot com is in need of a facelift. Somewhere around five years ago, I shabbily customized the current design you see now but as we enter 2014 the year of our Lord, it’s time to get modern.

If you or someone you know does web design and would like a winter project, please send an email to CrashburnAlley at Gmail dot com with the subject “Web Design”. Include your name, your portfolio, what you’ll charge, and any ideas you may have in mind. You should be proficient with HTML, CSS, PHP, WordPress, and Photoshop. Once we get to talking, I’ll discuss specifics, but here are some general ideas of what I’m looking for:

  • Text-focused — we don’t have any licensing with any photo sites so picture-heavy designs are superfluous for our needs
  • Adaptability with mobile devices
  • Custom banner and logos
  • Red/white color scheme
  • Social media integration
  • Modern commenting system (threaded; upvote/downvote) that isn’t a Disqus clone
  • Room for advertisements, including text and banners

Ideally, I’d prefer to deal with freelancers rather than design firms as a way to limit costs. I will most likely not be able to respond to emails until after the weekend.