Crash Bag, Vol. 61: I Will Wear White Socks in Europe

I got a lot of comments about last week’s Crash Bag being a downer. I apologize. I was writing while trying to keep up with the Sixers dropping acid at the NBA draft, and at the end of a long week. Being funny is hard work for me, and it requires time, energy and concentration, of which I had very little.

That said, life is utterly without meaning and you’re going to die. All of you are going to die. I really hope I’m not the first person to tell you that.

@uublog: “What are the odds that Revere’s first homer will be inside-the-park?”

Very good indeed. Ben Revere has 1,364 plate appearances in the major leagues. No home runs. He does, however, have five home runs in 1,755 minor league plate appearances.

I do not know how many of those home runs (if any) left the yard. I’m pretty sure Revere could hit a ball out in the right circumstances, but think about how little power a major league position player must have if one is only pretty sure he could hit a ball out of the park. Since the end of the dead ball era, there have been 25 players to accumulate at least 1,000 plate appearances without ever hitting a home run, including 10 pitchers. Of the remaining 15, the only ones I’ve heard of are Revere and Reggie Willits. Only two players, Tom Oliver and Irv Hall, have batted 2,000 times or more without hitting a home run, which is a mark that Revere ought to pass sometime next year.

One interesting thing about that list is how few stolen bases belong to the players on it. Revere, with 94 stolen bases to his name, has more than twice as many as Willits, who is second on the list with 40. And those 40 came in 57 attempts, which is a pretty terrible success rate. Maybe it’s just because I assumed everyone on that list would be like Revere, but doesn’t it seem strange that players with so little power steal so few bases?

But returning to the original question, I guess the point is that sooner or later Revere’s gotta hit a home run, right? There’s a part of me that’s shocked that Revere, who can barely hit the ball out of a Little League stadium, hasn’t hit a gapper that took a funny bounce or had an outfielder fall down on him yet. You’d think that someone with Revere’s speed would have been able to leg out an inside-the-park home run, but he’s only even tripled 13 times in his major league career, so maybe he lacks even the power to hit a ball hard enough for, like, Andre Ethier to boot it.

As you can see, I’ve talked myself into and out of about three different conclusions while answering this question. So I don’t know. Go ask your father. Continue reading…