Crash Bag, Vol. 54: Clean, Comfortable Undergarments

I’m going to see Star Trek: Prepositions this weekend. I told myself I wasn’t going to do it, but I will, and it’s going to be terrible and I’m going to be immensely grouchy and it’ll ruin my weekend.

I’ve spent way too much of your time already badmouthing J.J. Abrams’ attempt to figure out what it would be like if Michael Bay produced and directed a Star Trek fan script written by Dave Callaham. But let me say this–the “Trek” in Star Trek isn’t a verb. Whenever there’s a titular line, as far as I can remember, it’s used as a noun. For instance: Q in the TNG finale: “It’s time to put an end to your trek through the stars.” And Zefram Cochrane in Star Trek: First Contact: “And you people, you’re all … astronauts … on … some kind of star trek.”

NOUNS, ABRAMS. NOUNS, YOU SELF-IMPORTANT, LAZY, SANCTUARY-DESECRATING HALFWIT.

The Star Trek universe can’t be rid of him soon enough.

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