Crash Bag, Vol. 53: The Paper Jubilee

Happy news, everyone! On the second Friday in May 2012, I fielded Twitter questions in this space for the first time. Which means that today marks the one-year anniversary of the Crash Bag. Or rather, tomorrow is the actual anniversary, because years don’t work that way.

On this day last year, I was three days from finishing grad school, with no job lined up, nor prospects for one looking imminent. And five months into my tenure at Crashburn Alley, I hadn’t really found my niche yet. So, fearing the impending abyss of a completely unstructured life, I suggested to Bill that I start writing a weekly mailbag column. The first one was almost completely about the Phillies, and nobody read it. But just like in the old parable about boiling a frog, the past 52 Fridays have turned the Crash Bag into a smorgasboard of absurdity and whimsy, and one that I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. So going into the 53rd consecutive weekly column (51 by me, one each by Ryan and Paul), I thank you for your continued readership, your questions, your comments.

Apparently the traditional first anniversary gift paper, which makes me think whoever came up with the traditional anniversary gifts should have consulted me first. That’s way too terrible a gift to give, way too early in a marriage. “Here, honey, I got you a ream of printer paper!” You’d earn every bit of being sued for divorce with that gift.

And I know it’s supposed to be nice paper, like stationery or something. But (and I know KTLSF won’t read this, so there’s still a danger of this happening) if I got stationery for a wedding anniversary gift I’d roll my eyes, point to my laptop and assure my beloved that I won’t get mustard gassed by the Jerries while I’m at the front. Because paper is a stupid gift best suited for a time when you had to crank-start your car.

In that spirit, come and celebrate the paper jubilee of the Crash Bag.

@Cody011: “What type of propect(s) can we reasonably expect to obtain during the inevitable mass fire sale?”

Well that’s kind of pessimistic. Though it looks like we’re right back where we were one year ago. Continue reading…