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21 comments

  1. Ryan

    April 30, 2013 01:07 PM

    Let the Demon Young bashing commence!

  2. LTG

    April 30, 2013 01:51 PM

    FTFY:

    Cot for Demon

  3. phillies guy

    April 30, 2013 01:51 PM

    The bat throwing GIf is hilarious! But seriously, give the guy a break. We all win if plays/hits well.

  4. hk

    April 30, 2013 01:53 PM

    …but we all lose if he hits, fields and runs the bases as he has the last few years and the manager keeps writing his name in the starting lineup.

  5. TomG

    April 30, 2013 02:29 PM

    Some people think the “l” in
    Delmon must be silent
    Elsewise there’s just no tellin’
    Why he became so violent
    Whilst drunk in New York City
    The burg that never snoozes
    ‘Tis certainly a pity
    He was provoked by Jewses
    “Provoked”, here, we’re defining
    (And down below we’re listing)
    As nothing more, in fine, than
    Being Jewish and existing.

  6. Phillie697

    April 30, 2013 02:57 PM

    How is the bat-throwing gif hilarious? Appalling maybe, or do you mean it’s so bad it’s funny? There are some things you just don’t find funny no matter what. Like, for example, rape. So me 1000 videos of gruesome rapes and I guarantee you I will find none of them funny, no matter how over-the-top they may be. Throwing a bat AT the umpire is such a thing. Not to the same level of degree as rape, but it’s just not something I find funny.

  7. Mike E

    April 30, 2013 03:10 PM

    Yeah, thanks for the tips there, Heloise. I never would’ve known.

  8. hk

    April 30, 2013 03:24 PM

    Tonight’s lineup:

    1. Rollins
    2. Young, M
    3. Utley
    4. Howard
    5. Young, D
    6. Brown
    7. Chooch
    8. JMJ
    9. Revere

  9. SJHaack

    April 30, 2013 03:57 PM

    There is photographic and video proof that he has some redeeming qualities as a person, such as the ability to be near Jim Thome.

  10. Cheesecrop

    April 30, 2013 04:04 PM

    They probably just covered the outfield w/grease to make him look bad…

    This looks like it’s going to be fun.

  11. ChuckSHIV

    April 30, 2013 04:26 PM

    I’m so tired of constantly reading the same handful of things about why Delmon Young is a terrible person that its starting to make me like him more. If he sucks and or throws a bat at somebody then he’ll be gone and we’ll move on with the season. If he contributes anything…well, we all cheered on when Brett Myers was helping the team win down the stretch and we all breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone and the team was absent of that black eye. This will probably go the same way.

  12. LarryM

    April 30, 2013 05:12 PM

    Hey Chuck, the fact is that most people are way too kind to Satan Young. And if he “succeeds” at any level, the village idiot will sign it to a 3 years/30 million contract. So let’s hope that it strikes out in every at bat and is soon released.

  13. Rick

    April 30, 2013 08:58 PM

    Delmon Young homers in his first at bat and Chooch is 0-4. So much for the “haters” predictions on this site!

  14. Steve

    May 01, 2013 12:10 AM

    RAJ Offseason Moves – Game 27
    MY – 3b – a minus (0-3), 1 BB
    DY – DH – well we needed a DH – a plus, can’t wait to see him in the field
    CD – RP – threw gas on a well lit fire – a minus
    BR – CF – no fear of the arm – no hit, DP, saw a total of six (6) pitches in 3 AB’s, big minus
    RValedes – RP- fanned the flames, added kindling, 4 SO in 2 innins

  15. TomG

    May 01, 2013 08:07 AM

    @hk,

    Thanks. Much as I’d like to take credit for that little bit of doggerel, I really can’t, because I just adapted it from the Dr. Seuss anti-racism classic Jelmon Jeers a Joo, merely changing “Jelmon” to “Delmon”. (Man, the parallels between the two are so uncanny that it’s almost as if Dr. Seuss had DY in mind when he wrote it!) At the end [SPOILER ALERT!], Jelmon, whose anti-Joo prejudice seems intractable, finally accepts that the Joozez are just like him and that, despite superficial differences, we’re all brothers and sisters under the skin.

    Hahahaha! Just kidding! At the end, Jelmon’s still a dick! (This is considered to be Dr. Seuss’s darkest work, written at the height of his meth addiction.) But in the Seuss version, Booben Tamara Jr. opts not to sign Jelmon. That’s how we know it’s fiction.

  16. LTG

    May 01, 2013 09:10 AM

    TomG, that was all just delicious.

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