Crash Bag, Vol. 51: That Supersonic Tidal Wave

One day, when I have the time to do this, I want to have a daily podcast. I’ve already got the name picked out (though I’m not going to tell any of you what it is, because I don’t want anyone to steal it), but there are some obstacles.

I mean, sure, I don’t have the time, nor the equipment, nor the professional contacts to make something like that work, but what’s really holding me back is the lack of an opening line.

You know, how Jeremy Clarkson opens Top Gear with “Hello and welcome,” or Drew Fairservice’s “Greetings, greetings and good day!” from Getting Blanked. I was thinking of just stealing “Hello and welcome,” but if anyone’s got any better ideas, feel free to share. I’ve got no good ideas. Like, in general.

@DashTreyhorn: “What Phillies position player would you put on the mound in a tight spot?”

Gotta be Dom Brown, right? Like, seriously, there’s no other option. Think about it: the Phillies have three (THREE!) starting position players who are famous for not being able to throw all the well, in Ben Revere, Ryan Howard and Chase Utley. I mean, all three are more famous for doing other things, but they’ve all had their issues throwing the ball.

Ordinarily, you look for a guy who pitched in college, or who was drafted as a two-way player. For instance, if the Braves run out of pitchers and it’s the 19th inning or they’re down 25 runs and want to save the bullpen, they’d probably go to Andrelton Simmons, because he pitched in college and could reach the upper 90s. As far as I know, the Phillies don’t have such a player, though I must admit to a certain degree of ignorance regarding Humberto Quintero‘s youth.

Though come to think of it, wasn’t there talk of Delmon Young throwing mid-90s as a pitcher in high school?

Failing that, you’d probably go with a guy who’s got a good arm and who you aren’t that worried about hurting himself, which probably means Domonic Brown nowadays, as sad as that makes me to say.

That said, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Utley or Michael Young had turned a decade of grimaces into a working circle change or something.

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