MEGA SALE! NEXT TWO DAYS ONLY!

The Phillies are out of it and are looking to get rid of everything, but you only have two days to act! They have everything from shoddy old relief pitchers to shoddy old position players to shoddy old starting pitchers. Everything you could possibly want is here and at the lowest prices possible. Everything must go!

Need an outfielder with one year of arbitration left? How about Hunter Pence? All you need to bring with you is your signature, no credit check required!

How about an outfielder who can bunt and steal bases? Juan Pierre fits the bill and he’s IN STOCK now!

What would you pay for a starter who leads the Majors in K/BB ratio? How about Next-To-Nothing? Come on down and grab Joe Blanton before he’s gone.

Ty Wigginton may not be any good at anything, but he can do that at multiple positions. Just bring money!

Shane Victorino loves the UFC and he has post-season experience. Come on in and say “Mahalo”!

Placido Polanco is injured and old but when he’s not injured and old which is never he plays a mean third base. If he’s not taken, he gets put in the dumpster!

This sale won’t last forever — it ends on Tuesday at 4 PM Eastern. Pick up the phone right now and get yourself a capable Major League player for bargain bin prices. Everything’s gotta go!

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32 comments

  1. Frank Reynolds

    July 29, 2012 03:59 PM

    Funny Bill. Great Video very fitting. Can they get anything for Juan? To me he would be a great pick up for another team but he was signed as a minor league FA does that make him less valuable in a trade? The Guy has had a nice season.

  2. Kyle

    July 29, 2012 04:01 PM

    This is the first time I’ve smiled at anything Phillies-related in weeks.

  3. Chris G

    July 29, 2012 04:20 PM

    The Ty sale is the best sale.

  4. hk

    July 29, 2012 04:29 PM

    Bill,

    After the euphoria of the Hamels signing died down and the Angels seemed to pay a pretty high price (3 top 100 prospects) for 2 months of Greinke, I began thinking that the Phils should have traded Hamels – I suspect the Rangers would have paid a high price to match their division rival getting Greinke – and tried to re-sign him in free agency. Even if bidding for Cole in free agency would have driven the price up, would it have been worth an extra $6M to $12M over six years to have the likes of Olt and Martin Perez in the system? Additionally, they would have had the flexibility to decide that the price tag was too high, in which case they could have allocated the $24M towards other positions of need.

  5. Bill Baer

    July 29, 2012 04:31 PM

    I remember reading that the Rangers were balking at trades involving Olt and/or Perez, but who knows if they might have changed their minds after the Angels got Greinke.

  6. hk

    July 29, 2012 04:46 PM

    Of the 6 players you listed, how many do you think will be Phillies on August 1?

  7. hk

    July 29, 2012 04:52 PM

    I hope they hold onto Victorino unless the return is worthwhile. I’d be fine with them giving him a qualifying offer and either having him back for one year at $12M or getting the sandwich pick as compensation. Other than that, I agree, although I think Polly will be hard to trade until he returns from the DL. If he shows he’s healthy, he’ll make it through waivers and be able to be traded in August. I will be most upset if they keep Pence rather than turn RF over to Dom, who has been hot in the minors since returning from his most recent injury.

  8. Jhole

    July 29, 2012 05:32 PM

    Victorino, Wiggy, Blanton, and Pence will all be gone….if they aren’t then we asked for too much for them.

  9. William

    July 29, 2012 05:51 PM

    Well we will finally find out how good Amaro is in the next two days. He can trade tons of prospects for players but can he pull in prospects for his players?

  10. Tokyomac

    July 29, 2012 05:52 PM

    Can you get anything for Charlie?

  11. Cutter McCool

    July 29, 2012 05:54 PM

    “Hunter Pence? We bought him high high high [helium voice], you can get him low low low [Barry White voice]!!!”

  12. matt

    July 29, 2012 06:30 PM

    Love it keep on losing they suck.only reason they won last 5 years was because the whole nl east was bad !!!!

  13. Drew

    July 29, 2012 06:53 PM

    They need to do whatever it takes to get their farm system revived. Pence should get us a high end prospect or two. Pierre should get us a decent young arm, they should be able to wreslte at least 5 decent minor leaguers for our veterens. Whatever.

  14. boredjake

    July 29, 2012 07:15 PM

    What’s really funny is that remote answering machines were $19.00. I bet half the people reading this site don’t even remember answering machines, esp. ones with the little tapes in them. Oh how fun those were.

    Oh yea…the Phillies. Frankly it doesn’t matter what you get back. Get rid of anything you can. Clear some $$. Clear the air a bit. Tell contenting teams that EVERYbody is in play. Heck, I could see an AL team in need of a DH making a play for Utley. He’s a free agent after next year and if the Phils paid some salary he’d be a great pick up

  15. bharring

    July 29, 2012 08:58 PM

    How much money do I have to pay to never see Mayberry ground out with runners in scoring position again?

  16. Howard Wachtel

    July 29, 2012 09:13 PM

    I am afraid that 5 out of the 6 players mentioned will still be Phillies on Aug. 1. For some reason Amaro seems to be unwilling to accept that selling is necessary, and he should have accepted that reality and made any trades earlier, because the closer the deadline approaches, the greater the risk of being stuck with Blanton & Victorino, and ultimately lose them for nothing.

  17. Peter M.

    July 29, 2012 09:44 PM

    I can’t wait to turn on WIP tomorrow and hear Glenn and Anthony continue to insist that Amaro keeps the entire team together for the ‘inevitable’ run that will soon follow. I mean, they have Howard and Utley back! Halladay is off the DL! This team will play .700 ball during August!

    These WIP guys just can’t fathom the concept of trading away older players for prospects and not vice versa.

  18. Mcneildon

    July 29, 2012 10:08 PM

    I completely agree with HK about Victorino. A sandwich pick could end up being a washout, a fringe Major-Leaguer, an average to above average MLB player, or even an All-Star, with probabilities decreasing as you go through the list of possibilities. What it sounds like they’re being offered for Victorino right now will only be the first two of those possibilities. And, one more year of Victorino for $12.5 million would not be a terrible outcome either.

  19. Jim

    July 29, 2012 10:13 PM

    @hk

    Only Segura is a top 100 prospect (#55) and every prospect expert outside of Keith Law (ie Skip Bayless 2.0) thinks the Angels got a steal.

    If all the Phillies got for Hamels were a peak projected average SS, mid rotation starter, and middle reliever I would have been very upset.

  20. John

    July 29, 2012 11:50 PM

    If RAJ still has the majority of these players mentioned after tuesday, he should be canned.

  21. jauer

    July 30, 2012 01:28 AM

    If there is a God in this world, Hunter Pence has had his last PA as a Phillie.

  22. hk

    July 30, 2012 06:01 AM

    @Jim,

    The only analyses of the deal that I have read are Law’s and Matt Eddy’s (Baseball America). Both of them seemed to think it was a fair trade and a decent haul for Milwaukee, and Milwaukee’s perspective is the only one that matters to me since the Phillies are in the same boat as the Brewers. Considering that Greinke was the first rental player traded under the new CBA which devalues rental players, a top 55 prospect plus a SP with #2 starter upside and a 3rd high ceiling, high floor pitcher seems to me like a good take for Milwaukee and it looks like more than the Phillies got for a full year of Cliff Lee back when Seattle could have gotten two 1st round picks as compensation had they kept Lee for the full year (whereas the Angels will get no compensation if Greinke leaves after the season).

  23. Dante

    July 30, 2012 07:44 AM

    I agree with you across the board hk. Although, in your first post, you posit that an extra $6-$12 mil would do it in the offseason. I disagree – a 7th guaranteed year would do it. I assume the Dodgers, though flush with cash, would not offer 8 guaranteed years, so all they need to do is match that and offer over $150 mil and he’d resign. Therefore, they should have traded him to get some upside prospects back, even if it’s not Olt et al.

  24. Ryan

    July 30, 2012 10:26 AM

    Trading Hamels would’ve been silly. Once the Yankees, Rangers, and maybe the Red Sox got involved, who knows if we could’ve even gotten him to come back. RAJ got that one right. We need to sell everything else RIGHT NOW to re-fill our system–Pence, Victorino, Wiggy, Blanton, and Pierre all HAVE to go no matter how much RAJ can get back for them (hopefully as much as possible). If he could get rid of Papelbon or get a big return back for Lee, that would be a bonus. Personally, I would also sell high on Ruiz.

    On another note, does anyone know why Tyler Cloyd projects to not be a major leaguer? The guy is tearing it up at AAA. Is it a stuff problem? Couldn’t he at least be better than Jake Diekmann or one of the other retards in our bullpen?

  25. Dante

    July 30, 2012 11:04 AM

    Cloyd has fringy stuff, though he has a good feel for pitching and good control. He’s a back end starter to most scouts, at best. Maybe the replacement for Kendrick as a swingman.

  26. hk

    July 30, 2012 01:27 PM

    Ryan,

    It surely would not have been silly to trade Hamels as long as the return was worthwhile. It’s not as if they got a huge discount for re-signing him 2 months before the season ended. The worst case scenario would have been that they ended up with the prospects that they received for Hamels plus $24M per year to spend to fill other holes. The best case scenario would have been that they would have had Hamels and the prospects.

  27. Phillie697

    July 30, 2012 01:43 PM

    You know who else had “fringy” stuff that scouts all thought at best would be a back end starter? Brandon Beachy. Sometimes you just have to put them out there and see.

    No, I’m not saying Cloyd will be Beachy (for one he doesn’t have Beachy’s godly K rates), but my point remains the same.

  28. Phillie697

    July 30, 2012 01:44 PM

    @hk,

    No the worst is if we traded Hamels but couldn’t move anyone else. That would be the worst.

  29. stinkman

    July 31, 2012 01:04 AM

    Still don’t really get why everyone wants to dump Pence. Forget the fact we overpaid for him. Trading him wont get back enough to replace what he brings to the lineup and what the hell will we have left in the OF going into next year? Mayberry? Dom Brown? Really?

    It was a trade we needed last year and he played well. Let him finish this season here and discuss this all again at next year’s deadline.

  30. hk

    July 31, 2012 06:38 AM

    Phillie697,

    I disagree. You have to look at the Hamels situation independent of everything else. If they traded Hamels for a worthwhile return – more than MIL got for Greinke – they still would have been able to go after him in free agency.

    If the scenario that the Phils couldn’t / can’t / won’t move anyone else is a constant, what would be worse, (1) extending Hamels and bringing back pretty much the same team next year or (2) trading Hamels for a good return, then spending the $24M per year on Cole or to fill a couple of holes (Anibal Sanchez and a 3B)?

  31. Phillie697

    July 31, 2012 12:38 PM

    @hk,

    You’re looking at it from a purely asset/return point of view, but if we traded Hamels it would have been a clear indication to everybody that we’re selling selling selling, not to mention raising the blood pressure of every Phillies fans for the next 2-3 months speculating if we are going to get him back. That’s a double whammy of morale hit. Then if on top of that we can’t trade anyone else (which of course is moot now)? That would have made the rest of the 2012 season feel like the late 90s, at least to me anyway. That’s my worst case scenario.

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