The Phillies are out of it and are looking to get rid of everything, but you only have two days to act! They have everything from shoddy old relief pitchers to shoddy old position players to shoddy old starting pitchers. Everything you could possibly want is here and at the lowest prices possible. Everything must go!

Need an outfielder with one year of arbitration left? How about Hunter Pence? All you need to bring with you is your signature, no credit check required!

How about an outfielder who can bunt and steal bases? Juan Pierre fits the bill and he’s IN STOCK now!

What would you pay for a starter who leads the Majors in K/BB ratio? How about Next-To-Nothing? Come on down and grab Joe Blanton before he’s gone.

Ty Wigginton may not be any good at anything, but he can do that at multiple positions. Just bring money!

Shane Victorino loves the UFC and he has post-season experience. Come on in and say “Mahalo”!

Placido Polanco is injured and old but when he’s not injured and old which is never he plays a mean third base. If he’s not taken, he gets put in the dumpster!

This sale won’t last forever — it ends on Tuesday at 4 PM Eastern. Pick up the phone right now and get yourself a capable Major League player for bargain bin prices. Everything’s gotta go!