Roy Oswalt, Murderer? [.gifs]

.gifs after the jump.

While hanging out in the dugout during last night’s Phillies-Dodgers game, it appears that Roy Oswalt was teaching Cole Hamels and Cliff Lee how to murder someone in a gruesome fashion. Or, something.

Here’s another .gif of Roy Halladay, who had considerably less fun than the other three aces. He was not happy that Charlie Manuel was removing him before he got through the seventh inning.

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  1. jnolan33177

    August 09, 2011 08:06 AM

    Why would anyone like the Pence trade EVEN LESS they been winning every game!!! If anyone reads this that voted “EVEN LESS” in that poll, feel free to explain Im curious!! And Oswalt looks like hes also reeling in a Shark, maybe to help him murder whoever hes trying to kill

  2. Anonymous GM

    August 09, 2011 08:58 AM

    1st gif: Oswalt: “I told that Happ boy to git before I offed him wit’ the bat. I told him I gave him 10 seconds to run before I said “lol jk” and whacked him real good. Houston has been playing with a JA Happ lookalike and doesn’t even know lolz”

    2nd gif: “So that Beltran fella tried to grab me from behind in the brawl so I took my belt and whipped him, but he seemed to like it. San Fran… I tell ya…”

  3. Mark

    August 09, 2011 09:10 AM

    I bet 4 of the 8 people that like the trade less are Cosart, Singleton, Zeid and the Player to be named. I bet the other 4 are their Mothers! I would like it less if I was the player having to go play in Houston as well!

  4. Jesse

    August 09, 2011 09:12 AM

    I voted “even less” – because I never thought a RF was the Phils’ need, but I had been preaching the need for a reliable 3B option for over a month.

    So I didn’t like the Pence trade much in the first place because 1) Phils overpaid for a good, but not great player (similar price to Halladay), 2) RH RF was not something we desperately needed. A 3B with an OPS higher than Cliff Lee’s would help our team more than the difference between Pence and Mayberry/Brown.

    What changed between the trade deadline and the time I voted “even less” is, big surprise!, Polanco is gonna go on the DL again. Had they not done the Pence trade and instead acquired someone like Ty Wiggington who can play 3B as well the corner OF spots, we’d be prepared for what I saw as kinda inevitable: Polanco’s inability to remain uninjured.

  5. Jeff G.

    August 09, 2011 09:58 AM

    1. Price for Halladay >>> Price for Pence
    2. Polanco signed through 2012, so anyone they got would have to be a rental, or be a $4-5mil utility man next year.

  6. Eric

    August 09, 2011 10:23 AM

    I think Oswalt was actually discussing the melee from Friday.

    Or a horror flick. Either/or.

  7. Jesse

    August 09, 2011 10:27 AM

    Jeff G, I said similar not the equal, and I would definitely not use three >s to describe the price disparity. But two top 50 prospects is a high price for a non-elite player. And I’m not just speaking about whether those players could make an impact on the Phillies, but as bargaining chips for other pieces, as pure price value.

    As for 2) what’s wrong with those options when the team is supposed to be trying to win *this year*? They need some kind of production out of the hot corner.
    Even if he weren’t chronically hurt, Polanco’s .275/.330/.342/.672 is still bolstered by the first two months of the year, since he came off the DL his production is not even that much better than Martinez and Valdez’s .222/.265/.313/.577 and .235/.284/.299/.583. – I mean, that’s like starting Eric Bruntlett…

  8. Phillie697

    August 09, 2011 11:06 AM


    Any “bat” you could have gotten out there to play 3B would be INFINITELY worse than Polanco with his glove, because Polanco is simply one of the best defensive 3B in the game, period. Check out his advanced defensive stats if you don’t believe me. Whatever gain we get on offense would be negated by the deficiency in defense. Polanco’s defense is the ONLY reason why I have no problems with the Phillies starting him on a WS team. As for the rest of the regular season, I think I can play 3B for the Phillies and they’d probably make the playoffs, so who the heck cares about that.

  9. Jesse

    August 09, 2011 11:09 AM

    Phillie697, hyperbole aside, how good one’s glove is is “infinitely” irrelevant if one is not on the field, no?

  10. Phillie697

    August 09, 2011 11:14 AM


    Like I said, what does it matter if he’s not on the field in August?

  11. CPM

    August 09, 2011 11:17 AM

    Was anyone available at 3B that would’ve been (a) a significant upgrade over Martinez and Valdez and (b) affordable?

    Also, I voted “I like it more” not because Pence has been rocking it since arriving (tho that doesn’t hurt!), but because the “Future Planning by Dealing Prospects” piece allayed some of my concerns.

  12. Jesse

    August 09, 2011 11:36 AM

    Phillie697, I don’t want to sound rude, but there’s no rational way to assume Polanco will be 100% for the World Series. He had a bad back, add to that a sports hernia, and it’s two injuries in the same area as per form/function. Not like playing with a bad back and a bad knee or elbow, but doubling up on injuries in the same general (and important) area magnifies the pain. I have a bad back in the lumbar area but it’s manageable with OTC painkillers, but a minor injury to my hip made the over-all pain unbearable.
    I’m just saying before too long Polanco is gonna be held together with Duct Tape if he’s able to play at all…

    CPM, Wigginton, Betemit and Encarnacion in my opinion fit those criteria.
    But since a lot of teams were banging on doors for OFs most of the published accounts of who was available were about OFs, I’m sure had a 3B been aggressively sought we’d’ve been able to read about it and mull the options.

  13. hk

    August 09, 2011 12:08 PM


    Trading for Pence and trading a C prospect for someone like Wigginton are not mutually exclusive events. Therefore, the fact that the GM did not feel the need to upgrade 3B should have no impact on the assessment of the Pence trade. If you feel they paid too much, that’s understandable. I share that opinion; however, my opinion of the deal hasn’t changed either way since they acquired him.

  14. bernie

    August 09, 2011 12:09 PM

    We’re up by a gazillion games with a gazillion + 1 to play (or something like that). Give Mayberry a shot a 3rd. See what happens. The guy is probably the best athlete on the team, and crushes the ball when he hits it. If Pete Rose could get by there on a couple of ws winners, I’m sure Mayberry can handle it. If not, go back to Valdez-Martinez.

  15. Evan

    August 09, 2011 12:46 PM

    BTW did Crashburn switch posts with The Fightins today?

  16. Jeff G.

    August 09, 2011 01:04 PM


    You are looking at everything in hindsight. At the deadline, Poly was not injured. If you want to upload a .gif of the crystal ball that showed you he was going to get injured again, please do so. Otherwise, the sports hernia happened after the deadline, so you can’t really include that in your argument.

    Also, the three players you mentioned above are horrible at defense. Wigginton *might* be the only significant upgrade over minimart/GIDPez, but like I said, you really gonna pay Ty Wigginton $4 mill next year to be a backup?

  17. Jesse

    August 09, 2011 01:12 PM

    Jeff, that’s exactly my point. That’s why I like the trade “even less” now that he’s suffered the hernia. The hernia occurred between the time of the Pence deal and my voting on this blog.

    It was obvious things were wrong with Polly, and he was not at full health for months, making him more susceptible to further injury… And whodathunkit? It happened.

    Yes, it’s not my money, but I’d say Wigginton’s worth 3x Ross Gload money. Heck, add in Ben Fransisco’s salary too and it’s not that bad a deal for 2012.

  18. Mike E

    August 09, 2011 01:29 PM

    Somehow graft together a Mayberry/MiniMart hybrid @3rd

  19. KH

    August 09, 2011 01:42 PM

    Well if Cosart and Singleton end up being as good as Michael Taylor and Drabek have been so far then the Phillies have obviously totally overpaid for Pence.

  20. Dan D.

    August 09, 2011 05:14 PM

    1st .gif “So, I grabbed my axe and I hacked him. I got halfway there and I hacked him again and his head fell off.”

  21. greg

    August 10, 2011 07:18 PM

    Jesse, I would argue the exact opposite of what you are saying; 3B is covered (even with Polanco out) by the valdez/martinez duo, because of their defensive capabilities, but we needed more help for Howard near the top.

    3B for the phillies recently been more focused on the Defensive rather then the offensive (see Feliz, Pedro) because of the production from other players. Polly hasn’t been a black hole for offensive production, but certainly they are going to give him a little leeway because of his better defensive play. And Valdez/Martinez have managed to fill in somewhat defensively for Polanco.

    However, the RF position has been an offensive black hole. The 4 players we’ve had play there averaging .250/.305/.400/.705 COMBINED. Pence, for the season is .313/.360/.484/.844, and during is (very) brief stint so far with the Phillies, he’s .356/.388/.556/.943. I’d say that’s a decent upgrade. Worth the price? I donno, but we’ll see.

    Another thing to chew on; if the race to the playoffs was close, I would certainly be more worried about the injury. But the phils are still winning, and can offord to rest Polanco. Your points are valid, but fall short of supporting your idea of a “hot” corner.

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