Golf is Dying!

From The New York Times: More Americans Are Giving Up Golf.

[…]

Over the past decade, the leisure activity most closely associated with corporate success in America has been in a kind of recession.

The total number of people who play has declined or remained flat each year since 2000, dropping to about 26 million from 30 million, according to the National Golf Foundation and the Sporting Goods Manufacturers Association.

More troubling to golf boosters, the number of people who play 25 times a year or more fell to 4.6 million in 2005 from 6.9 million in 2000, a loss of about a third.

The industry now counts its core players as those who golf eight or more times a year. That number, too, has fallen, but more slowly: to 15 million in 2006 from 17.7 million in 2000, according to the National Golf Foundation.

[…]

Surveys sponsored by the foundation have asked players what keeps them away. “The answer is usually economic,” Mr. Kass said. “No time. Two jobs. Real wages not going up. Pensions going away. Corporate cutbacks in country club memberships — all that doom and gloom stuff.”

Sorry to offend any golf enthusiasts who may be reading this, but… yes! Awesome!

The faster this sport dies, the better. And I can think of nothing more appropriate for this occasion than to quote the great George Carlin.

I know where we can build housing for the homeless: golf courses. Perfect: golf courses. Just what we need: plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods, land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless, mindless activity engaged in primarily by white, well-to-do male businessmen who use the game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer among themselves.

I am getting tired, really getting tired of these golfing cocksuckers in their green pants and their yellow pants and their orange pants, and their precious little hats and their cute little golf carts.

It is time to reclaim the golf courses from the wealthy and turn them over to the homeless. Golf is an arrogant, elitist game and it takes up entirely too much room in this country.

It is an arrogant on its very design alone. Just the design of the game speaks of arrogance. Think of how big a golf course is. The ball is that fucking big! What do these pin-headed pricks need with all that land? There are 17,000 golf courses in America. They average over 150 acres a piece. That’s 3 million-plus acres; 4,820 square miles. You could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist — there’s another thing: the only blacks you’ll find in country clubs are carrying trays — and a boring game. Boring game for boring people. Have you ever watched golf on television? It’s like watching flies fuck.

And a mindless game, mindless. Think of the intellect it must take to draw pleasure from this activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick, and then walking after it! And then hitting it again! I say, “Pick it up asshole, you’re lucky you found the fucking thing. Put it in your pocket and go home, you’re a winner. You’re a winner — you found it!”

No, no chance of that happening. “Dorko” in the plaid knickers is going to hit it again and walk some more. Let these rich cocksuckers play miniature golf. Let him fuck with a windmill for an hour and a half or so, see if there’s really any skill among these people.

I know there are some people who play golf who don’t consider themselves rich. Fuck ‘em! And shame on them for engaging in an arrogant, elitist past time.