Fuck Jesus, Raymond Burke, and Bill Donohue

To the four or five loyal readers I have, you know I’m a happy guy when political issues spill over into sports. Imagine my glee when I’m perusing the fabulous blog With Leather and come across these babies:

Majerus Has Opinion, Catholics Freak Out

ESPN’s Dana Jacobsen Is In Trouble

Majerus’ offense:

St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke said this morning that… Majerus should be disciplined over his public comments supporting abortion rights and stem cell research […]

Jacobsen’s offense:

A Catholic advocacy group charges the sports TV network ESPN has failed to respond properly to a graphic rant by anchorwoman Dana Jacobson in which she “attacked Jesus Christ.”

Jacobson, reportedly intoxicated, was speaking at a celebrity roast in Atlantic City, N.J., when she unleashed a profane tirade, saying, “F— Notre Dame,” “F— Touchdown Jesus” and finally “F— Jesus.”

It’s not surprising that in both instances, it’s Catholics doing the whining. Even funnier is that the redress required by both Raymond Burke and Bill Donohue is a formal apology, because we all know that when you sin, you can confess and pray to Jesus and it all goes away.

Are you a homosexual pedophile? Jesus can fix that.

Like getting fellatio in airport bathrooms? Pray and your sins will wash away.

A fan of using power to force teenage boys into sexual acts? He is a forgiving God.

All jokes aside, I’d like to point out some of the idiocy on display from the Catholics that I’ve pulled from the articles. First, the Majerus scandal:

Let’s start off with a hanging slider:

St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke said this morning that St. Louis University basketball coach Rick Majerus should be disciplined over his public comments supporting abortion rights and stem cell research.

Majerus should be punished for having an opinion — a differing opinion?

Later on in the article:

“It’s not possible to be a Catholic and hold those positions,” Burke said. “When you take a position in a Catholic university, you don’t have to embrace everything the Catholic church teaches. But you can’t make statements which call into question the identity and mission of the Catholic church.”

This is just downright hilarious. “Think whatever you want, but don’t express your contrarian opinion.”

Yeah, I get it — SLU is a private, Catholic school and they don’t want their employees expressing statements that go against what they believe in. But to me, that just shows weakness. If you’re not willing to have your beliefs scrutinized and questioned, how strong are they in the first place? If the Catholic ideals are so right, shouldn’t they stand being tested?

Look throughout history and the ideals that have been most forcefully and authoritatively stated and defended are the ones that have been the most incorrect. Archbishop Burke just wants everyone in his little bubble to think just like him so he never has to critically think about the views he espouses.

If you read further down in the article, a Missouri Supreme Court case is cited with a conflict regarding the use of tax money for SLU’s new stadium.

The debate came down to two words: “control” and “creed.” Does the guiding mission of a Catholic university align with the specific system of religious faith espoused by the Catholic church? And if so, does that system of faith control the actions of the university?

Do a Google search (I did a Yahoo! search) for St. Louis University. This is what comes up:

It says that exact same thing in the “About Us” page on their website. They are a self-identified religious college. The Establishment Clause of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says that the government cannot support anything religious, or non-religious for that matter (for clarification, that means something like an atheist group wanting to use taxpayer money for some event, similar to SLU wanting to use taxes for their stadium).

I just find it hilarious how mind-numblingly hypocritical and close-minded people can be.

Anyway, onto the Jacobsen rant. This is even more mind-numbing because Jacobsen works for ESPN, which is not a pro-Catholic organization, and is not affiliated with any religion in any way.

A Catholic advocacy group charges the sports TV network ESPN has failed to respond properly to a graphic rant by anchorwoman Dana Jacobson in which she “attacked Jesus Christ.”

Why should ESPN or Jacobsen have to respond at all for attacking Jesus? Not everyone worships the same God you do, Mr. Catholic Advocacy Group. Deal with it.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue said he pressed ESPN on the issue and received an e-mail with an unsatisfactory statement by Jacobson.

The statement said, in part, “My remarks about Notre Dame were foolish and insensitive. I respect all religions and did not mean anything derogatory by my poorly chosen words.”

Donohue contended the response “fails on several counts.”

Even when you make a superfluous apology to people who have no jurisdiction on your behavior, it’s still not enough for these close-minded Jesus freaks.

Frankly, I think Ms. Jacobsen chose her words well. While I don’t follow college football closely at all, especially not enough to have a distaste of Notre Dame, I do share her sentiment in regards to Mr. Christ. The figure of a religion responsible for millions of deaths, the backing of slavery, misogyny, and the mistreatment of animals (I can cite Bible verses if you’d like), and the intolerance of homosexuals, polygamists, atheists, believers of other Gods, disobedient teenagers, people who work on the Sabbath… is not someone to whom I am wont to kneel.

Anyway, how did Jacobsen’s statement “fail on several counts”?

“First, there is no evidence that ESPN is taking this matter seriously,” he said. “Are we to believe that her hate speech is of no consequence?”

Extreme lulz at Donohue citing Jacobsen’s drunken rant as “hate speech” being that he belongs to a religion that has done nothing but hate anyone who isn’t a white male Christian. Go through Donohue’s Wikipedia entry and look at all of the innocuous things he’s whined about. He’s an ideological tattletale.

Donohue argued Jacobson’s comments were at a public event where she represented ESPN.

Yes, and if ESPN wants, it can reprimand Jacobsen. No one — not Donohue, the Super League of Catholics, or anyone else — has jurisdiction on the matter.

Secondly, he pointed out, racist remarks by the late sports commentator Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder during a luncheon interview in 1988 resulted in his prompt firing by CBS, despite an apology.

Donohue added, “It is also important to note that being drunk didn’t help Mel Gibson’s case when he made bigoted remarks about Jews.”

Yes, because “fuck Jesus” — an attack on the “icon” of a religion — is on par with “Fucking Jews…Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world” — an attack on all of the adherents of a religion.

Finally, the Catholic leader said, “By far the most offensive thing she said, ‘F— Jesus,’ isn’t even addressed!”

Does it need to be addressed? No.

“It is obvious, then, that neither Jacobson nor ESPN is dealing with this matter in a professional way,” Donohue declared.

The only one being unprofessional is one Mr. William Donohue.

“To put this issue behind them, ESPN must deal with this issue quickly, publicly and fairly, something it has yet to do. After all, most Christians are yet unaware of this event, but once they learn of it, they are sure to demand accountability.”

Accountability… for… having… a differing opinion, and emphasizing it via the F-word?

Fuck Jesus, and fuck Bill Donohue.