“9. Take a popular holiday song and change the words around to make fun of athletes and coaches.”

T’was the Night Before Christmas also works.

”8. Write or even just joke about how awful those family get-togethers are. Bonus points if you have a drunk and/or creepy uncle.”

And “having to kiss the blue-haired aunt.” Can’t forget that.

Also, work in eggnog (which GM drank too much), ugly ties and fruitcakes.